Making Friends and Finding Belonging: 

Nicole walked into her vibrant and energetic classroom and looked around.  She paused by the coatrack before heading to her desk.  She saw groups of children eagerly chatting about a cat Youtube video they shared, others were talking about the game of kick ball they just played in the field, and a few students were reading quietly in their seats as the teacher welcomed students at the door.  Nicole really wanted to join in the girls talking about the cat Youtube video, but she didn't know how since she was really into insects and spiders. 

Nicole thought to herself, "Nobody likes what I like. I don't fit in."

As a parent, these feelings can be difficult to hear, but they are not unusual. Feeling different does not mean a child is lonely, and it does not mean something is wrong. It often means they are still discovering where and how they connect with others.

For some gifted children, making friends comes easily. For others, it can be more challenging. They may feel different from their peers, have interests that are unusual for their age, or struggle to find classmates who share their passions. These experiences can sometimes leave children feeling isolated, even in a classroom full of peers.

The good news is that belonging does not come from finding people who are exactly like us. It comes from finding people who value, respect, and appreciate us for who we are. As a parent, we can talk to our children about how strong friendships are built on much more than being on the same softball team, or dance group, or someone who shares every interest.  Chat with your child about the qualities of a good friend: kindness, respect, empathy, listening skills, and trustworthiness.  Help them understand that some friendships develop because of shared interests, but others develop because of shared values and the inclusion of others.

Sometimes a parent may need to teach their child the direct skill of being curious about other people.  This supports friendship because "me too" moments can help build deep connections.  You can even feed your child possible questions like, "What do you do for fun?" or "What's your favorite game? Can you teach me that game?" Then they learn how to approach others and partake in the conversation.  

It is important to remember that Highly Capable children do not need friends who are exactly like them.  Friendship can take many forms. Students need opportunities to be themselves while learning to appreciate the strengths and perspectives of others. When children understand that they can be both unique and connected, they begin to discover a powerful truth.  Belonging starts with being comfortable in your own skin.

By helping our children build friendships rooted in kindness, respect, and authenticity, we give them something far more valuable than popularity, a genuine sense of belonging.