Perfectionism

 Every year, one commonality I do notice between my students is that they have a very hard time making mistakes and taking risks.  We talk about how school and learning is a growth process and that it is okay to make mistakes, but it is always an uphill battle to truly internalize that learning.

There have been several books written on the topic of Growth Mindset.  For example, the most known is Mindset by Carol Dweck.  I have read that book and also Mathematical Mindset  by Jo Boahler as well. But the truth is, teaching that it is okay to make mistakes is really hard.  In reality, I don't like making mistakes and I try not to, but I understand that mistakes are made when a person is undertaking a new experience or taking a risk.  

As I get older, I see the benefit of various experiences and the learning that is associated with it.  I truly believe that not taking a risk is riskier than making a mistake.  Too much learning comes from trying something new and experimenting.  New ideas, new tasks, new insights and new friendships come with unknown experiences and growth is essential in human existence.  It makes us alive and interesting, so without new learning there cannot be growth and without growth, we get bored.  But, this all means that my students and I have to be okay with trying something risky and new and making a mistake to learn and grow.   

I have found that modeling that I make mistakes and pointing out these mistakes to my students helps with this process.  We watch videos from Youcubed about making mistake and read children's books about it.  We celebrate epic failures in math and discuss what we learned from them. 

All this is helpful, but it is also important to get this message from families and parents at home.  If parents are expecting their child to obtain 100% on all tests, this does not align with a growth mindset.  If a child brings home a B or C in class, how should a parent react if the child put in the effort but didn't manage to get an A? What would a conversation that promotes growth mindset look like?  How do you establish high expectations as a parent, but still let your child explore new things and fail?

As a mom and teacher, I am processing these questions... let me know if you have the solution.